I talked to Dr Feelgood last night. I gotta figure out what to do with her. She is back to teaching again as the last push toward the end of the year has started in earnest so perhaps I dont have to deal with her so often and, that problem will solve itself. I also talked to Neenoman, I have got to get down to Houston to see her. She sounds cuter on the phone all the time. She will be busy though because she is still moving her things down there. Two days until I get to see Loopie! (Yea). Honey Love sent a message this morning stating that she would be leaving me alone. I am praying that this is true.

I talked to L1011 she still wants to get together so I can pay the bet we made. Butler lost so I have to take her out to dinner next Tuesday. Lesson: Never bet on a losing team even if they gave you your Masters Degree. Hey it could be a lot worse right? Look she is half-decent looking and great at conversation. Not a problem.

REAL TIME UPDATE: Life without The Witch is depressing at best. Today was a bad day. I thought about her all day. I was also thinking something that my good friend said whilst criticising my actions. She sent me an e-mail that messed with me. (START EMAIL)"None of this matters. None of it matters at all. I cannot let how I feel control what I do. I have to move on no matter how painful it is. That’s reality." I"ve heard this before. You cried for almost 2 years recently and you were wounded even earlier than that. Are you gonna let this statement kill your chance for love again? You always talk like you want the whole package - wife, kids, house, etc. Yet, if your feelings get hurt somehow (by her fault sometimes not) you go into this "none of this matters" crap and "I can't let my how I feel control what I do". Why not? How much worse can it get? I mean how bad would it be to give a relationship 110-150%? You might get hurt - You get hurt anyway. At least you could say you gave it your best shot. Since, I"ve met you, I don't believe you"ve ever gone the extra mile. Maybe, if you did, you"d finally get what you"ve been looking for. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship or a perfect person. A person is what you see them to be and a relationship is what you make it. (END EMAIL) Dammit. She is soooo right. Now I"m really depressed. I go happy hour and everone is depressed. My good friend North London lost her job a few weeks ago and Angry Walk got rid of her older man yesterday. We"ll see how long that lasts. Soooo with nothing else better to do, I end up eating dinner at Dr Feelgood"s unfortunately I am here a day early. Her air conditioner will not be fixed until tomorrow. She"s happy go lucky and I am melancholly. Where is Loopie? I could use some attention from her right now. Crap. Damn its hot in here. Time to disrobe I guess. Utt ooooo..

So now I am being sucked in. I got invited to be with Dr Feelgood, her mother, brother et. al. On Easter. I really dont want to go. I am not going to an event that makes me look like she is "with me" or something. So much for that.

Damn, its still warm in here. I"ve got to go to work now. Nothings changed. Still got The Witch on my mind, still want out of this mess, still cant wait to see Loopie. Blah blah blah....

In about 40 minutes from this entry yet another poison pill goes to The Witch telling her essentially that I would rather leave her alone and that the situation for now cannot be salvaged. Damn this is painful. It has to be done. I cannot move forward unless this bridge is burnt behind me.

Well I gave blended the pink slip today. The whole White man Keeping us down mentality was a big turnoff in spite of the fact that her rack was a great turn on. She said something real stupid: "When the cubans come ashore they sort out the dark skinned cubans from the light skinned ones" Well not only is this stupid but if its true, then what do we say about the Democrats that run imigration offices down there? What about the Democrat mayor? Hmmmmm... I thought that Democrats were the angels of the black people and that Clinton was the messiah of the black people. I hate ignorance.

I told Dr Feelgood that I might be late getting back to Dallas Sunday and could possibly miss the Easter festivities. (whew) With that out of the way its time to get outta town! Human Sacrifice (by virtue of how much jewelry she wears) is coming by tonight @ 7 to discuss her website. Yeah, right... LOL..

I sent out my Good Friday / Happy Easter e-cards and e-mail today. I did the usual, grouped up the people who hate me and responded to them in love with one e-mail. I then sent everyone else individualized messages. About 40 in all. Damn. Let me straighten up the house and get ready for Human Sacrifice.

Its 6:30AM at Dr Feelgoods house. She has to teach today so I dont have to entertain her when she gets up in an hour. Last night Human Sacrifice came over bristiling with jewelry as usual. LMAO. Anyway she looked very cute. We eneded up fixing some things on her website (a non-profit organization) and got all of that straightened out. Some "slight of hand" but no Adult Situations and Language. She said she wants to go out this weekend and rekindle. Well thats not happening. Anyway I talked to Loopie and I will see her in a few days. I almost miss her. I am going to fly to Houston this morning to hit the beach and when I get back, I am going to hit Loopie.. Right after I get through with this Easter crap with Dr Feelgood and Family..

As planned I left Dr Feelgoods house, bought a one way ticket to Houston (and got searched because of it) and am on the ground. With a little luck and a a lot of credit I am 300 miles from home, staying in the Hilton Westchase (nice), bought some underwear (I forgot to pack), some condoms, called neenoman and Three-DD and am chilling until five or so when I get to start my weekend in earnest. Neenoman will be here at about six. Three-DD will be here at about nine thirty. However as with all my vacations I got buzzkill from The Witch. She wants to get together for lunch or dinner when I get back. So, just when I get ready for a weekend tri-fecta (three different women: neenoman, Three-DD and Loopie) My mind is back on The Witch. Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! However, I am going to have a drink from the mini-bar and chill. Perhaps neenoman"s cuteness will make me forget.

I met neenoman last night at about 6PM. She looked cute as usual but she was almost scared of me. So, I got arrogant and said "You can hold me if you want to." She gave me this strange look and loosened up afterwards. She had some plans that she put on hold to see me. That was nice of her. Nice blue checkerd thong. Adult language, but no situations. Nice kiss. Nice feel.. LOL.. Since she sees me as a potential mate means I will have to visit again if I am to get some of that. She left the hotel at about 9PM.

Three-DD shows up at about 9:25PM, we immediately set off to go play some pool. She is definitely MILF material. She shows up wearing tight jeans and had those DD"s prominately displayed. LOL. We had a few drinks, played pool and hung around for a while. Got back at 2AM. Mild Adult Situations and Language. She didnt stay so, I get to make this entry in real time.. We are supposed to go out Satuday but the skys over Houston are threatening with a 30% chance of rain. I want to hook up with her in the evening. I have someone else I want to try to drop in on in the day.

Today Donna Hue caught up with me. With school switching into high gear I don't speak to her much. She decided to catch up with me and, pass me another picture of her lovely ass.

[13:39] Donna Hue: hey
[13:39] Mister Bachelor: Hey.. How ru?
[13:39] Donna Hue: good babe how are you?
[13:39] Mister Bachelor: Im better now what I've heard from you..
[13:39] Donna Hue: aww..where are you?
[13:40] Mister Bachelor: Dallas..
[13:40] Donna Hue: at work or home?
[13:41] Mister Bachelor: @ work..
[13:41] Donna Hue: anyone around?
[13:41] Mister Bachelor: No.
[13:41] Donna Hue: haven't started yet
[13:43] Donna Hue: I am sending you a file
[13:43] Donna Hue: did you get it?
[13:44] Mister Bachelor: might have to wait for it to send through the proxy..
[13:45] Mister Bachelor: omg...
[13:45] Mister Bachelor: its a thing of beauty..
[13:45] Donna Hue: lol
[13:47] Mister Bachelor: I still dont understand why someone hasnt snapped you up yet.
[13:48] Donna Hue: lol
[13:48] Donna Hue: i've got a few trying
[13:48] Donna Hue: but not one has caught my interest long enough
[13:49] Mister Bachelor: and I
[13:49] Mister Bachelor: ?
[13:49] Donna Hue: oh, maybe you have
[13:50] Mister Bachelor: hmmmm...
[13:51] Donna Hue: hmm..what?
[13:51] Mister Bachelor: I am curious as to why a little..
[13:51] Donna Hue: lol i can't tell you that you have
[13:51] Donna Hue: then you may start to act crazy
[13:52] Donna Hue: guys-once they know that they have you
[13:52] Donna Hue: once they know they can run over you they do so
[13:52] Mister Bachelor: That's not my way.
[13:52] Donna Hue: oh well good
[13:54] Mister Bachelor: I've been burnt by women who knew they had me by the nostrils to do someone in just because I can. Plus anyway I have to sleep at night.
[13:55] Donna Hue: i see
[13:55] Mister Bachelor: Well, you know that fact anyway.
[14:03] Mister Bachelor: I suppose I'll remain in orbit for a while longer until you let me in.
[14:03] Donna Hue: lol
[14:04] Mister Bachelor: However, feel free to continue teasing me.
[14:05] Donna Hue: i am not going to tease you
[14:05] Donna Hue: lol
[14:05] Mister Bachelor: im just playing.
[14:06] Mister Bachelor: although the pictures are nice..
[14:07] Donna Hue: lol
[14:07] Donna Hue: i just randomly took that picture like two days ago and
[14:07] Donna Hue: said I'd wait until you signed on to show you
[14:09] Mister Bachelor: Breathtaking..
[14:10] Mister Bachelor: Maybe you'll turn around and take another..
[14:11] Donna Hue: maybe
[14:12] Mister Bachelor: I'll settle for another one of you smiling though..
[14:12] Donna Hue: aww...
 

The problem is of course she got busted. The filename that she sent had someones name in it. So I decided to ask her about it.

[15:55] Mister Bachelor: Hey
[15:55] Donna Hue: hey
[15:55] Mister Bachelor: Who is Amir?
[15:56] Donna Hue: thats an ex
[15:56] Donna Hue: that file
[15:56] Donna Hue: ?
[15:56] Mister Bachelor: Perception is an asset.
[15:57] Donna Hue: i hear you
[15:59] Donna Hue: don't start that Someone Elses Woman
[15:59] Donna Hue: because im not
[16:00] Donna Hue: i'd tell you truthfully if i were i contacted you
[16:00] Donna Hue: and secondly i have no reason to hide or lie to you about anything
[16:01] Mister Bachelor: I havent said anything. I asked a question, you answered it..
[16:01] Donna Hue: ok
[16:02] Mister Bachelor: Its none of my business and not in my pervue to ask anything else about it. Now, if we were actually involved I would ask why does your ex need to be updated on the condition of your arse but thats not whats going on.
[16:02] Mister Bachelor: ROTFL

Busted! You gotta make player moves better than that.

Oh how time flies. Dammit. Well I meet Three-DD at about 1:30 and off we go straight to the beach. I had a decent time. She kept pushing and probing me to see if I liked her and what I thought of her. I changed the subject every time. Really, she"ll be a backup - last resort date if things dont go well with neenoman or someone else here in Houston. Anyway I had an OK time, mild Adult Situations and Language that were meant to I guess make me interested. When will these women learn that I am not motivated by sex. I like having sex but it is not connected to wether or not I like someone or not. Oh well. As I write this she is on her way home to see whats up tonight. I plan to have other plans. So, I am calling neenoman and one other woman to see whats up. Dr Feelgood called. She misses me and wants to see me tomorrow. Loopie called. She misses me and wants to see me tomorrow. Shit. Well I had better get Loopie off the phone and get to work on my Saturday night before it gets too late.

Well I visited with neenoman for a second last night. Mild Adult Situations and Language this morning and she gets the boot. Where is room service? Where is my breakfast? I need to get out of here and back to Dallas where: I plan to go to do this stupid Easter thing with Dr Feelgood and then, find an excuse to go home when actually I will be headed to Loopie"s place.

Whew.. Back in Dallas. Now back to the task at hand. I am going to change and go see Dr Feelgood at this easter thing and then I think I"ll invite Loopie up here for a spell. Three-DD called fishing for answers to what I thought about her. I swerved away from the issue. I think she got the message.

Brunch with Dr Feelgood was nice. I was the nice guy and paid for her mother to go to brunch today. Anyway brunch, Dr Feelgood and her mother were pleasant. Anyway she asked if I would take her over to my house today. I said I was tired, which I was because of the past two nights with neenoman and Three-DD so I left and went home. Now I"m going to meet a new one today for coffee, which I need. After that, Loopie Awaits!

I went to Starbucks to meet a new one, lets call her Mil-Spec. She is in the army. Not bad looking either. Decent body and real cool personality. Her attraction to me was obvious. I think I"ll see whats going on there... Yes..

Aaaaah waking up to Loopie was especially nice today. Last night things got a little wild. I am a little sore. Thats OK though. I"ll be fine (I think). LOL.. As usual she has been very attentive, loving and wierd. This morning she spent 10 minutes on OCD duty, quadruple checking every little thing in the house and, moving the curling iron to the kitchen table, a daily ritual. Last night she asked me if I thought she was well, loopie and I said that she was but I would much rather have someone do a bunch of wierd stuff that hurts no one than a bunch of dysfunctional stuff that hurts every one around. Wich would you rather deal with: Someone who throws a curling iron at you for no reason or, someone who has to leave the curling iron on the kitchen table for no reason before leaving the house. I"ll take wierdness over dysfunction any day. The doctor is supposed to be in the (my) house today. We"ll see if that happens. I got a pleasant e-mail from Mil-Spec saying that she wants to see me again. Cool.

Dr Feelgood comes to the house at about 7:00 or so. We go out to eat at the local dive-mexican resturaunt and back to the house. I excused myself out of Loopie last night so I figure there will be some hell to pay today. Anyway its 6:30 in the morning. Dr Feelgood is asleep in my bed. I am up. Working and thinking about The Witch. I couldnt sleep. Its wierd. I had a dream with her in it last night.

(not sarcasm) It took a while for me to respond to this e-mail properly because of its content. On being friends with someone you love, you and I are the same position. You know I am in love with you. More importantly though I understand how much you love Mister Ex and want to be with him but the differences you have now might allow for the two of you to only be friends. Have faith in him. Things will change for you two someday. The love the two of you have for each other is obvious to both of you. You two just need to work on yourselves and then work things out. Have faith in Mister Ex and his love for you. It will work out.

(this is not sarcasm) In reference to seeing the ring I bought you…. You told me in Feburary 2001 that you and (The Witch"s Ex) were going to get married soon. I can only assume he got you a ring so the statement below might need some retooling.. I know how much you two love each other. If he hasn't got you one already he will soon. I still think about the day we met at George"s house. That day was a memory that will last a lifetime. It was a day that I rediscovered the woman I truly love. You. It is a beautiful thing when someone finds the one they truly love, especially a second time. And, the day after we talked and made love we were so happy. Even today I still love you and I wish there was some way that we could be together. Back in February you went to (The Witch"s Ex) and you rediscovered the man that you truly love. You did what your heart told you to do. As I said before it is a beautiful thing when someone finds the one they truly love, especially a second time. I remember seeing you that Sunday when I was with Tabitha. You were so happy that day. It was because you rediscovered the person you truly love. I had to stop being selfish and face reality. Last year perhaps you were lost and alone without (The Witch"s Ex) and said some things (like when you said you loved me) that we don't really mean or, were actually meant for someone else. It happens like that. There is no need for me to forgive you for lying to me. You should however forgive The Witch for lying to herself about her feelings for Bachelor. If you can forgive (The Witch"s Ex) for all he has done, you can forgive yourself. As quickly as the two of you became one for that day, you can become one forever. You should want to see the ring that bought for you by a man you love. I am not him.

Sent: Tuesday, April 22, 2003 6:39 AM
Subject: RE: aaaaaahhh
No, you didn’t. I have no doubt that you know your place. Im trying to make better wiser decisions these days. I know this sounds strange to you but, everything we do have con-sequences. Its just dinner. Its harmless right? It may be dinner but, it also puts us in a position where we are spending time together. I don’t want to put you or myself in any situation where well end up doing something we regret. I know that we are just friends, but I want to make sure it stays that way. I think of you as an ex. Someone I use to be involved with but, not any more. Its too soon to think that you and I are only just friends based on everything weve been through. You’ve told me on several occasions that you love me. Im sure that hasn’t changed overnight. I don’t mean this in a negative way but, I want you to understand that I cannot be your FRIEND as long as you feel this way about me and as long as you even like me that way. We are both adults and we know whats up. Take care. Have a good day!

An E-mal I sent to the Witch:
The Witch I was never your man to become your ex in the first place. You and I know that. However the fact that I love you and Tabitha will never change because the love that ‘I" have for ‘You" is real. The only thing I regretted was interfering with you and Mister Ex. It was not my place.

REAL TIME UPDATE: I got my wish. I got an e-mail from the witch saying that its not a good idea for us to see each other again. I agree. Its time to move on. How many times have I said this already right? LOL. All I got to do now is kick Dr Feelgood out of the house and I"ll be ready to mope the day away.

(Sent to the Witch)The Witch In reference to the ring, those e-mails were answered the day you sent them. I delayed sending them to you because of their content. This morning you said: “I know that we are just friends, but I want to make sure it stays that way. “ Here is something I never told you about what happened the day I realized I didn't have a woman in the first place LOL! You can call it the day we broke up if you want to. I called (The Witch"s Ex) and told him that its time to stop screwing up, screwing around and that it was time to get his woman back. I told him that you loved him, that he should seek forgiveness for what he has done and to never do it again. I also talked to my children that Sunday Morning while we were in Indianapolis and fogged in. I told them that this was the last time you"ll see The Witch, that I was sorry I brought her and I was sorry I brought you into their lives. They asked me why and I told them the truth because I owe it to them. I told them that you cheated on me, that things went down hill from there and I was leaving you. My children have to accept you being in my life in order to stay in it. They would never accept you now and got quite pissed at you for leading them and their father on. Tricia cried. She is sensitive about people she likes and her Dad. Damn, she really liked you too. I am disappointed in the fact that you lead my children on too. I had the hardest time forgiving you for that. In spite of the fact that I love you and Tabitha and always will you can never be in my life that way again. My girls will not permit it. Unlike you I will not have someone in my life they wouldn't or don't like. I will also not teach the lesson you taught to Tabitha that it"s a great idea to go back to someone who cheated on you and mistreated you because they will only do it again. Don't worry about my wanting you to be anything other than a friend of mine. There are days that I wish we could have worked things our but the door to anything else was shut forever by my children. Unlike you, what my children think about the people in my life matters to me. I don't have to forgive you for the lies you told yourself about how you feel about me. I did forgive you for lying to everyone else by making them think that you were mine when really, your heart belongs to (The Witch"s Ex). My children however, haven't quite gotten around to that (forgiving you) yet. I don't think they will either. Who can blame them? (Laughing) See what an impact you have on people"s lives? Cool Huh. In spite of everything you have done, and all of the people whose lives you"ve adversely affected by your deception, I will always love you. My love for you and your daughter is real. On that note, where is that big smile at? Its all good, OK?

(From the witch)From: The Witch Sent: Tuesday, April 22, 2003 9:03 AM To: Bachelor Subject: RE: Epilogue Note taken. I apologize for my part in that and involving your children. Im sorry things didnt work out but, you need to accept the fact that you played a part in this as well. If you knew that I still loved Jeffrey, you should havent have stayed involved with me. If I cheated, you should have stayed away. You involved your children also. I was wrong in that I didnt accept the fact that I still loved (The Witch"s Ex). I though that I could move on. Unfortunately for everyone, I wasnt able to. I never intended to hurt you or anyone else. As far as what I didnt and didnt do, you accepted all of it... including the fact that I still loved (The Witch"s Ex). You assumed that I would get over him and move on. I didnt happen that way. The hardest thing I had to do was to accept blame and responsibility for my actions. At any rate, Ive learn a valuable lesson, just as you have. Just as I started the initial response to you. I wont making that mistake again. Ive learned so, I wont be pretending that its ok to hang out with you and pretend me can be friends. No hard feelings. Its time to move and and put this behind us now. All o this really doesnt matter at this point and time in our lives. Just leave at that and move on. Its for the best (for everyone) that we dont socialize. You take care. Im sure youll eventually find someone that loves..............

(sent to the witch)I didn't realize you still love (The Witch"s Ex) until you cheated on me, by then your lies about loving and wanted to be with me had already screwed everyone. If you remember, in November you told me it was over for good. I asked you point-blank and you lied to my face. You then told me it was over after you cheated on me. You lied again. The Witch I"ll take the blame for staying after you cheated on me but the lie I lived from Thanksgiving to 2/6/2003 is something I simply didn't know about until now. I involved my children last year because I loved you and I didn't know you were lying to me when you said you loved me too. I involved them because you said you were mine that it was over with (The Witch"s Ex). You told me this twice. You told me this the day after Thanksgiving and two weeks later before I dropped Jane. I even asked you where your heart was before we went to Indianapolis to see Jesus Christ Superstar. You should have said you still belong to (The Witch"s Ex) then. Instead you lied to me again. I won't take the blame for involving my children, if I believed you still wanted to be with (The Witch"s Ex) I would have never have let you come to Indianapolis for Christmas. My children are the most precious thing I have. I would not have been that irresponsible as you were to Tabitha for letting her believe you cared about me. I still smile when I think about the day she referred to me as her future stepdad when she was on the phone, on her birthday. I am only responsible for believing you. I have already found someone who loves me, she was there all along but in a (The Witch"s Ex) like situation because of my *real* love for you, she did the smart thing, and ran away. (laughing) I still hope that you and (The Witch"s Ex) will spend your lives together and have many, many babies! I still hope we can be friends, what the did I ever do to you?????? LMAO!

Now its getting ugly. The Witch is saying that I should have known better than to get involved with her knowing all of the issues she had including her Ex.

I got a call from Human Sacrifiice wanting to get together on Friday. I told her that was cool and, might be a lot of fun anyway. I also had lunch with Viva. She is having some problems with her daughter so I decided to give her some parenting advice. The first thing was for her not to involve the children until you are sure you are going to marry. I did that with The Witch and paid dearly for it with broken ties, relationships and pissed off children. Second, that if her daugher would respond favorably if she sees him making her happy. Well thats about all I can do for her. I got a e-mail from L1011 about my paying back the debt and taking her to BJ"s (I made a funny, taking her to BH"s LOL) tonight. I forgot all about it and Loopie is all gung-ho about coming to my house this evening. I"ll put her off until tomorrow and do it then.

Well I am finnaly Witch free!!! Loopie is on her way and I just got done washing the sheets and everything else from Dr Feelgood"s visit yesterday.

REAL TIME UPDATE: Loopie is in the shower and is more neurotic than ever. Since I have 3x the windows her apartment has she needed to check all of them and then, trip on everything here. Personally I think its amusing.. She"ll be ok. As I said before. I can deal with wierd rather than dysfunctional any day.

(sent to the witch) It was (The Witch"s Ex)"s baby too right? I figure if you can lie to me about loving me you could also lie about your pregnancy too right? Doesn't that make sense? I was thinking… (The Witch"s Ex) came over that day in February not to bother you but because you basically brought him there when you cheated on me right? He had good reason to come by to reclaim his woman. I don't blame him. So tell me the truth, I was crying over (The Witch"s Ex)"s baby too right?

Loopie is out of the house. Cool. Clinton situations and Language though. So here is the score. Loopie is on her period and so is Dr Feelgood. I am screwed. From feast to fammine! LMAO!

(from the witch)Good Morning Bachelor, I thought that you had learned something out of this entire experience however, I can see that you havent. You are being immature and a youve proved my point .......that we CANT be friends. I dont know what your problem is and at this point, I dont care. In an effort to upset and get back at me you feel you have to bring up that entire ordeal that I went through. You know how hard it was for me to go through that. Maybe you dont because you werent there were you? You choose to throw it in my face. Well you know what..... thats fine. You have to deal with things the way you see fit. The same old way you continue to deal with everything else.......sarcasms. Ill continue to pray for you because you are headed in the same direction. You still havent learned a thing out of this. Good luck to you Bachelor. I would appreciate it if youd find someone else to criticize. I prefer not to hear fro you again. IF you have a woman that loves you I suggest you talk to her and move on with your life. I dont have anything else to say to you and I wont be responding to anymore of your simple emails. Take care of yourself and seek GOD!!!! You really need him.

(sent to the witch)The Witch your right. I am lashing out at you because you hurt my children. Then you tell me that I should blame myself for believing someone when they say they love you to their face. I should blame myself for believing someone who tells me they would marry me. Is that sarcasm? Tabitha not withstanding, how would you feel if someone hurt (The Witch"s Ex)? You would be pissed wouldn't you? I remember how you got mad at me one time when I said something negative about him. I just want to know how complete your deception was. Nothing more. As for moving on with my life I started seeing other people right after you cheated on me and never really stopped afterward. It made leaving you a lot easier. Calling (The Witch"s Ex) to give him the good news and telling my children about your cheating on me shut the door for good. If he had good reason to come by after the two of you got back together in February to claim his woman, then he probably had good reason to call in December to claim his child right? Was it (The Witch"s Ex)"s baby? Just tell me yes or no.

I get an e-mail from The Witch saying that she would prefer never to hear from me again (?). Actually thats cool. I am still wondering if the baby she carried was really mine or not. I"ll leave that mystery right where it is. I get a call from Loopie in the middle of the day calling herself checking on me and, trying to secure me for dinner tonight. I still havent heard from L1011 and will call and see whats up. I might do an Exacta and see L1011 and then go over to Loopie later on tonight. I dont know.

I had happy hour with Angry Walk and North London today. Embarassingly enough I found myself really attracted to Angry Walk. I mean, really attracted. I think its because we are in similar situations, that is telling someone you love to step off. Anyway I looked at her in that way for the first time today.. I gotta put it out of my mind…She knows what a dog I am anyway. LMAO Anyway North London got smashed. I hope she got home ok…

(sent to the witch) Why did I not tell my kids about you in 2001? I did it because you told me you love (The Witch"s Ex). Why did you meet my kids in 2002 I did it because you told me you loved me (and lied) The argument about me involving my kids because of any other reason besides your word, which nobody (even (The Witch"s Ex)) should take you at, does not hold water. If you work at it long enough, you could make someone hate you.

So here it is the middle of the night again (or close to it) and I cant sleep inspite of the fact that I ate well and, had a warm Loopie to sleep next to. I talked to Dr Feelgood yesterday. Nothing really up there worth reporting other than the fact that her affection for me scares the crap out of me.

Another period day (for everyone) another night with Loopie. Clinton situations and language followed by basically a sleepless night. I woke up three times and ultimately sat in front of the TV watching the Discovery Wings channel. Ugh. Anyway I need more coffee. More coffee...

On the bachelorblog I have some code that tracks who is here. Certain people like Honey Love still drop in to see what I am up to in spite of their intense hatred of me. I cant resist. So I put up a message for her that said that she loced me and that she cant resist hanging aroiund. Like clockwork she logged in and, responded…. (Email from Honey Love) No (My Name), its you that love me. You Just had to go there. I really do love your life sweetheart. You are cool people, you didnt do anything to hurt me. I was just looking for something different. I apologize for the static! Im flattered I made "Head Lines" on your site again. You just love me! Thank you for your cooperation (My name). Love you! Take care! You know you were wrong for stating my real name but its all good Im not going to even get stated with you, youre just having fun. Lets not go there remember Im 50 cents finance (smile)

I told her that the message was only for her. Of course now she loves me even more! (Email from Honey Love) You are so brilliant! Thats why I love you so much! xoxoxo!

I get a call from Loopie this morning wondering if everthing is ok with us. I asked why, she said it was because I didnt sleep much last nigh and I left early. I said, "Well, the answer is, I didnt sleep well and left early and we are ok". I think she is getting insecure. Anyone venture to guess why? LMAO. I got a call from North London this morning. She didnt quite remember being smashed at the bar yesterday. LOL.. You gotta love that. I also got a call from Dr Feelgood before she went to go teach. She wants to see me today. Frankly I think I am going to make other plans. I gotta call Human Sacrifice to see if we are still on for tomorrow. If she cancels then I can move Dr Feelgood to a day when Loopie has her kids and I dont have to worry about going to see her.

Zzzzzz.. I am so tired. Its 5AM and I have been up since 3. Damn. I am so freaking tired. Loopie called last night. I fell asleep on the phone. Dr Feelgood called yesterday. I fell asleep before I picked up the phone. Wow, so this is what my house looks like. Cool. Guess what, I have a bed too!

Today I am depressed. I am tired. I called myself getting it together yesterday by doing the unthinkable, staying at home but it didnt work. I slept about four hours. I"ve got to get back on track. Moving on has been a lot of fun at times but its still an empty existance. I have two women who want nothing more than to be with me you"d think I would be happy as a lark right? Yeah right.

So I have a lunch date at 1PM with another woman who says a lot but has nothing to back it up. Thats my initial opinion anyway. Actually she seems nice enough up to now and I am a little intrigued. We"ll see whats really up in a few.

I went to lunch with Counter Top today. Actually a couple glasses of wine eased me though lunch. She is not bad looking and is pretty thin. I can get into that. She kissed me after lunch when I walked her to her car, with tounge. Nice too. Problem is, I beleive she will be a pest. If she is going into rotation with Loopie and Dr Feelgood she is going to have to play ball. Speaking of which. I called Dr Feelgood. A friend of mine has tickets to a outdoor concert Sunday. So, heres what I did. I called Dr Feelgood and got out of going to the concert tonight with her in Denton. Called Human Sacrifice and confirmed our get-together tonight. Dr Feelgood scheduled her school-related stuff and errands tomorrow and, her and I go to the concert Sunday. Confused? OK. To recap. I dont have to have Dr Feelgood at the house tonight. I will go out with Human Sacrifice instead tonight. If nothing happens with Human Sacrifice I can still go to Dr Feelgoods tonight after I am through with her. (bonus!) Dr Feelgood will be doing some school related stuff tomorrow that I dont have to attend, leaving Saturday open for me to go out with someone else and Sunday, we will go to the Boney James concert and I can get laid too.... Whew! Anyway I was kind of looking forward to happy hour today but I will have to skip looking at Angry Walk"s cute little booty until Monday...

I did my Exacta yesterday. I drove out to the middle of nowhere to Human Sacrifice"s ranch and got her computer straighened out. We went to dinner and then back to the middle of Ellis County to hang out for a second. Well, Adult Situations and Language occured. I made an excuse to leave and it stuck. While driving to Dr Feelgood I got a call from Loopie. She busted me by seeing if I was online, which I was of course. So she asks me if I was a player. I told her no. After being confronted with the internet thing, I decided to throw up the fact that men were still calling her. While fully aware of the fact that I am busted, I used it as a reason and a defense. I said "Well I dont hear you telling them you found a man" anyway she figures now this was a big misunderstanding and everything is back on track. Well I take a few calls from Human Sacrifice and get to Dr Feelgoods at about 12:30. Damn I am tired of driving at this point. I go to sleep. Well she is almost done bleeding but not quite so I got some Clinton Situations and Language. I am back at home, trying to line up a date for tonight.

So far I still dont have a date, other than Dr Feelgood wanting to get together later tonight. Ugh.. She wants sex.. She said so. Time to start getting agressive.

So now I have to go stealth. Loopie decided to check again and decided to call me to complain about my wanting to see other women some more. So now I am having to hear it again. I told her that if she does not trust me then she should go. Now she is playing the insecurity card heavily. So, I am now deleting my profile and, getting myself a new one without a picture this time. Sweet Jesus, I had no idea she cared about me this much. Slanging the L word and everyhing else. Damn. This is out of control. Oh shit she is now crying.. Crap. Ok so I got it back toghether. She is pacified for the moment.

Loopie just called telling me she feels better and how much she cares about me.

Last night was uneventful. By the time the women I wanted to go out with called, Dr Feelgood called asking me to come over. Well, what do you do, you go with the booty you can gurantee you can get instead of booty you have to guess about. Loopie called last night as well, apologizing for flying off the handle (she had every right to do so, but she doesnt know that) and that she felt better. As I write this Its Sunday Morning at Dr Feelgoods place. She is still asleep. I on the other hand awoke to a nightmare complete with witches and drama, dancing through my head. I had to get up. In spite of all of this, I am cool right now. Being witch free may be depressing at times but its better than living a lie and living with uncertanty. Speaking of which, I have also made a unilateral decision that Dr Feelgood will have to be replaced. The attraction is not there anymore and well, she"s just something to do when I am not with Loopie. You know, I really do miss her. (Loopie) Strange Huh?

Dr Feelgood fixed breakfast so, I had to put out this morning. Anyway I found an excuse to leave so I am now back @ home.. So now its time to get out and see what I can get into today...

Well I am sitting here wondering if I should go visit Dr Feelgood tonight or chill at home. What should I do??? 2b honest I really dont want to be bothered. And, dont want to be alone either. Shit.

I woke up in my own bed this morning, alone. Wow. What a concept! Anyway I spent the rest of the evening on the phone talking to some new prospects. I have a few who are interested in getting to know me. I am still looking for number three who will ultimately become Dr Feelgood’s replacement. As much as I like her, its becoming time to put up or shut up for Loopie. She may have to go too, if she decides to move further into my life.

One thing I realized this morning is that this whole situation from start to finish is wrong. I got two women slanging the L word and I cant even commit to either of them. The whole witch thing was wrong from start to finish. I should have never went back to her last year. So where am I at today? Back to where I was when the blog began last year. Nowhere. LMAO..

So I sent a message to Loopie saying I missed her. After I got off the phone, I realized that I missed that booty and mmmmmm how nice it is.. So I admit, its physical. I cant wait for the weekend when I can hit it (Friday)...

Dammit. I cannot sleep. Its almost 3AM at Dr Feelgoods house. Its too warm in here to sleep, though the A/C is fixed now. Yesterday at happy hour, I find not to anyones suprise that Angry Walk went back to her boyfriend with no enhanced commitment and no ring. I would say that I was that stupid for going back Witching, but I had sense enough to leave too and, burn the bridge behind me thourough enough so that we cant even be friends now. I"m still plagued by this dilema I am in as it is really getting old. I think that maybe its why I cant sleep. Last night we are sitting on the couch, in between the calls from Loopie (ringer turned off) and she starts conspicuously eating Danish Wedding cookies. So, am I paranoid? Maybe. In the meantime she is looking forward to this gala/ball for the Dallas Museum of Art on the 10th of May. It kind of works out though. Loopie will have her kids that weekend. LOL. In the meantime I am still cant wait to see her. Mmmm that booty.. Development of new prospects is going quite well. Details at 11.

REAL TIME UPDATE: So here I sit at 4am and Dr Feelgood is sitting right across the table from me wondering why I am up. She cant see the screen. What do I do, tell her I"m plagued by other women and moreso by my recent betrayal and thats why I cant sleep?

I woke up late at Dr Feelgoods house. Luckily I didnt have to put out this morning so I can get out of here and go to work. Time to make some calls and get busy.. I think I"m supposed to meet L1011 today for dinner. I"ll call to confirm.

Well it looks like its on for 6:30PM with L1011 today. Well, it wont be so bad. She"s a lot of fun. I also have a lunch date today at 1PM as well. I"ll name her when I get back.

Well I went to lunch with Bowling Ball today. We went to Razoo"s. She was not as advertised in the pictures nor did she like the food. Well, I made conversation and, well, left. She seemed to be attracted to me but I am really not at all attracted to her. I have already send the "no connection" e-mail. Dinner with L1011 , should be a little more fun though..

Angry Walk wanted to do Happy Hour today. She tried to make me guilty for not making it. However, it would be kind of nice to look at the cute little booty... Oh well hopefully she will wear something tight tomorrow. Bowling Ball replied to the "no connection" e-mail with "I understand" and not much else. I suppose its time to delete that number out of the phone now. Sorry, she is a little too round for me. I cant do it. Eeewww..

So I did Happy Hour with Angry Walk. I gave her some heartfelt advice not to get Tiffed by Biff. She had a long dress on so, the amount of eye candy she gave for the free beer was limited. LOL. On my way to L1011 , I called Loopie and did some more shoring up of things. She seems 2b cool I think. Afterwards I had a pleasant dinner with L1011 . She was nice, gracious and moderatly attractive (to somebody). Well I got that out of the way.

DROPPED! Loopie called and told me it was over. So, I told her OK. She called back five minutes later to tell me some kind of "I want to be your friend" stuff and asked why I was so cold about it. I told her it doesnt matter and went back to my previous telephone conversation. At least I got the booty right? LMAO!!!